1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize