So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
