This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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