I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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