That's when you crack a 10am beer
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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