I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
