singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
