Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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