i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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