i would punch a child for taco bell
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
