Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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