it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
