are you still at the devil's house?
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
