I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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