One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
