Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
