he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I woke up under a house in Key West
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