Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
