I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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