He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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