Texts From Last Night

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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!

  (248): View more from Michigan

  She can rap better than you any day

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  (989): Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend! (248): She can rap better than you any day http://tfl.nu/bu9h
  Replies (4) Good night (2743) Bad night (994)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You guys are open that late?

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  (703): Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges." (610): You guys are open that late? http://tfl.nu/gb5t
  Replies (17) Good night (1078) Bad night (4004)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.

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  (443): She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them. http://tfl.nu/jd8a
  Replies (21) Good night (8501) Bad night (1066)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B

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  (610): He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B http://tfl.nu/k0kn
  Replies (13) Good night (3199) Bad night (1381)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room

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  (503): We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room http://tfl.nu/9vw8
  Replies (4) Good night (2400) Bad night (796)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.

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  (715): Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them. http://tfl.nu/68wg
  Replies (8) Good night (3148) Bad night (1101)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers

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  (919): The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers http://tfl.nu/9d3q
  Replies (3) Good night (1137) Bad night (671)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  She's just so happy...and so naked.

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  (303): She's just so happy...and so naked. http://tfl.nu/5upc
  Replies (3) Good night (2954) Bad night (644)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?

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  (949): the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real? http://tfl.nu/2sta
  Replies (2) Good night (1802) Bad night (413)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.

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  (303): It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple. http://tfl.nu/6uwz
  Replies (1) Good night (597) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.

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  (516): Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN. http://tfl.nu/0bkl
  Replies (11) Good night (1463) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.

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  (843): Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement. http://tfl.nu/5mts
  Replies (5) Good night (397) Bad night (1205)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.

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  (720): I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things. http://tfl.nu/e55d
  Replies (2) Good night (732) Bad night (323)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.

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  (781): MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS. http://tfl.nu/2ps2
  Replies (2) Good night (584) Bad night (413)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.

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  (940): Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked. http://tfl.nu/qrsb
  Replies (5) Good night (1003) Bad night (267)

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