On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Dating After Heartbreak
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart