Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.