And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.