omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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