My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
