Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
