Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
