Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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