That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
