I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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