omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize