3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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