He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
