and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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