I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
