You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
