yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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