Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
