I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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