Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
