i can't believe i had my finger in that
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
