walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Randomize
