You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
