Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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