Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
