U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
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