I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
