As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I look excited, but its just a facade.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
