Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
