Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
