would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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