I wannas sexs uuuuu
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
