She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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