We're facebook friends in real life
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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