My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
