Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
