Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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