Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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