Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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