did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
