Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Randomize
