16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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